The Proposal

I am marrying the man that 15-year-old me fell in love with seven years ago. In one month officially "together," seven years of hidden love and adoration for each other manifested in ways I never thought possible. I now understand the terms "happily ever after," "soul mate," and "the one," and I am engaged to marry mine.

The ring wasn't a total surprise (we have trouble not telling each other everything), but the proposal was wonderful and special nonetheless! If you've read my Love Story (back story to this news!), you'd know there is a lot more history behind us than our month (!!) of dating.

Since we were young we had this habit of driving down Highway 60 almost every night we were together. It is a long, narrow road with water on both sides connecting Tampa with Clearwater. We would roll down the windows, turn the music up and enjoy the peaceful moment of just being together, hands held outside the car with the windows down. Years after those nights I'd often change my route to make sure I traveled over this road, rolled down the windows and thought about Richard.

Sunday evening we left a family get together and Richard grabbed my keys, refusing to answer my questions of where we were going. Before I know it we are driving down Highway 60, windows down and David Gray playing through the speakers. Only this time I have one hand out the window and the other holding Richard's.

He suddenly stopped the car alongside the busy road, told me to get out of the car and got down on both knees, holding my hands. "I love you so much. I love you with everything inside me. I never want to spend a moment without you," poured from his mouth. "Will you marry me?"

I didn't even notice the perfect ring between his two fingers as I fell to both knees to hug him tightly. Of course I said yes, and for the first time put on the ring that turns all of our possibilities into reality.

Then we realized we were on the side of the road in the dark and might die so we hightailed it to a beach area on the other side of the road. We spread out blankets and held each other just talking about our excitement.

We passed a casino on the way home and Richard, apparently feeling very lucky, suggested we stop to bet $5. I've never gambled before and we just got engaged.... why not?! We walked out $5 poorer :)

My lululemon friends were our at Tavern Opa for a holiday get-together. What a perfect opportunity to squeal with excitement with twenty of my closest friends!

Apparently because Richard put a ring on it I had to dance on the table (?!). I should note that dancing on a table is very different when you haven't had anything to drink!

The night was perfect and just the start to an incredible life.

You've all read my Love Story. Well, Richard wrote his own version. I promised I'd post it when he proposed.

First, one thing for dear Katy:

Richard's Love Story

My girlfriend story? Oh where to begin, there was this one girl- forgot her name, then another girl, and someone else, and blah, blah, blah. Oh- you asked for my LOVE story? Well, now thats a whole different story...

Since I've met her, and up to this very day; she has never failed in stealing a split-second of breath from me every time our eyes have met. What is it to feel every negative aspect of your life drop off your shoulders and shatter at your feet? What is it like when the woman you have been needing for so long wraps her arms around you, looks into your eyes and sweetly declares: "I'm yours," and you forget your own name? What does it feel like to caress the entire world with your fingertips?

My love story with Ashley Sickles began when I was 17 years old... and it will never end.

I was out with my friends one night, when we decided to try out a new local coffee shop, The Beanery. The moment I walked in the door, despite all the commotion, the lights, paint colors, crazy decorations, the live band, all the talking and shouting- she was the first and only thing my brain could focuse on at that moment. She stood behind the counter with the most beautiful hair and smile to greet my friends and I. Scrambling, I to try and think of ways I can prolong a conversation, so I come up with the excuse of not knowing what is good or what I like, the drinks I like at Starbucks, but I was very careful to assure her that after I tried whatever she decided to make me, that I wouldn't know what Starbucks even was. To this day I cannot remember what that drink tasted like, nor weather it was even hot or cold. But she made it for me. Today I still wonder if she knows how many times I had shown up there by myself, just to realize she wasn't.... must have been well over two-dozen times. One day, I showed up The Beanery was no more and it broke my heart. Through mutual friends, we were eventually united again. I remember that group night when we went bowling. She loved to hassle me. I'd go as far as saying she lived for it, in our moments. She handled my sarcasm, shot it back with avengence, and never let up. No one has ever been capable of doing this without my anger, frustration, and embarrassment being shot back at them. She always made me smile. This was the night my heart took hold of her and the roots of what I feel today were planted in: complete respect and unconditional friendship.

At this point of my life, I had just been cheated on and dumped by my first "true love." I was on a warpath. I was going to date as much as I could and hurt anyone I could- including myself. This curse lasted almost 3 years. Ashley was my rock during this time, weither she knew it or not. She was always my #1. No matter what girl I was with that week, if she wanted to roll the windows down and drive down Hwy 60- I was there. If I was with someone and that person got jealous that I was hanging out with Ashley, then the relationship with that girl was very soon ended. Living this way long enough was exhausting. My emotions took me over one night and I knew I could not keep living my life this way. I couldn't sleep, I was at a very un-healthy level of depression, and I felt like I was drowning. I was done.

I was about to turn 20 years old.I re-evaluated my life. I started going to church again. I was putting myself back on the tracks. I knew what I wanted to be. One night, I put deep thought of the man I wanted to be and the woman I wanted for a wife, everything kept coming down to Ashley. I was scared. Scared of losing the most incredible friend I have ever had. I knew I wanted so much more than that with her- but I wasnt ready to tell her just yet. I needed more time.

One night I ran into Ashley at Starbucks.She had a 'friend' with her. I was not impressed with this guy, to say the very least, but she had a smile on her face which meant I would keep my lips shut. I will never ruin that smile, not as long as my heart is beating. So I backed off. Way off. I went back to the girl who had 'treated me the best out of the rest' and started limiting communication with Ashley. There in this hole, I waited. Time seems to have it's own plans and with it comes it's own demons.

Two years pass.She's still with him. I'm still with her. My mind settles on, "Well, it is what it is." Moving to North Carolina, was to get away from it. Run, Richard, run! Trying to settle down and get engaged, "yeah, that'll work" I convinced myself, and a week later, my demons knock once again. To look into a girl's eyes and wish you were looking at someone else- that is the most heart wrenching feeling I could wish upon anyone. She always hid it well, but deep down, my fiance' knew who I really wanted, but she was just as much of a coward as me when it came to leaving. Fighting got worse, the words got harder, pretty soon we grew numb to any and every word we could yell at each other, and silence became the best argument. Ashley and I talked ocassionally through Facebook and IM- always appropriate, but always ended with "could have's" and what we should have done. Either way, I had been emotionally dead in my current relationship. How many nights will I keep staying up just to think about her?

A year passes.Ashley is single. My heart drops and my entire body feels numb. Chills. But wait- I'm engaged, just bought a house, I have bills... I feel helpless. Over the course of months I cringe when I see shes dating. To hear about it, to see photos, to know that the boys that shes talking about, the boys that she goes out with and here I sit in shame, passing out dating advice, always making sure I gave advice that would ultimately make her second guess the relationship she was in :)

Six months of this.I hit rock bottom in my happiness. I end my engagement. I feel like a monster, but a weight is lifted. I decide I'm not going to die without telling Ashley everything I feel for her. The first chance I get- I let it out and refuse to let myself leave out anything for her to have to guess on.

Three weeks later.I'm splashing water on my face from the airport water fountain. I keep pacing nervously throughout the airport lobby while I feel every security guard's eyes watching me. I don't care- I'm about to smell the hair of the love of my life in less than 5 minutes- try and arrest me! I hear the woman on the intercom announce her flight has landed. I make my way as close as I can and off to the side so I can see her first. I start shaking. I stuggle to keep my eyes from tearing up and I lock my knees so I don't fall. I'm ready.

The angel walks around the corner.

She dosen't see me yet and I'm not going to wave- I want this moment for me. Seconds later, our eyes lock... her ears go up and her nose crinkles as she smiles. Remember to breathe. "Hi." That's all either of us could say. I wrapped my arms around her so tight and kept wiping tears from my eyes. My hands tremble as I hold the back of her head- I feel her... I inhale her. I don't remember walking back to the truck, or much of the ride back home. I recall adjusting the mirror so I could see her eyes.

We are IN love.The rest of the day is just two smiles walking around. Words are unacceptable to the beautiful silence, and the relationship we've always had is so superior to simple small talk. Ashley is in MY house! For so long, this woman has been the alpha-standard for who I want to be my wife, and here she is not willing to break eye contact with me for a second. We have been talking about the first kiss for weeks, and for a few hours, we'll come close, but always pull away. Further proving to me we're just as together as we've always been and will never stop teasing eachother. This would have been close enough to heaven for me in this lifetime, but in one of those moments, we can't help but make contact. So, we kiss. Ashley and I have a bond and passion between us that is beyond any that I had ever thought could exist between any two people. From this moment on, Norah Jones decides to speak for us, as our love completely and entirely overflows into one another.

Ashley is my best friend, my future wife, my un-born child's mother, and the gravestone next to mine.

Seven years after.

The Love Story

So I'm already four days late writing the X-Country Marathon recap. And I'm posting a mushy gushy love story. And this is a health and fitness blog.

I know.

But, besides the fact you demanded it on Twitter, I think this story provides a background to where my life is going. Soon enough I'll be in Asheville, blogging every day about loving a hot boy, making beautiful meals for us and exploring our city through yoga, run, bike and swim. My life, and my passions as an individual, have already changed and you, my dear readers, deserve to know why.

---The Love Story---

I've put off writing about this because I haven't been sure what words are appropriate when all your dreams come true. When the one you've always wanted but could never have holds you tight and says he loves you. Words may never do this justice, but it deserves to at least be put on paper.

My love story with Richard began when I was 15-years-old and just may never end. It is based on late nights driving over Highway 60 with the windows down and nothing but water around us and a love and compassion for each other.

I met Richard from behind the counter in my family's coffeehouse, talking about a yummy frozen drink. He was the tall boy with glasses and a big smile. I always perked up when he was there.

Two years later we sit in his car after a night of bowling with friends. He's the bad boy and I'm the good girl. I give him a hard time and we're instantly stuck together.

Richard was my prom date, my plans on Friday night, my first choice for anything I did at 17-years-old.

He was cool and tough and dated all the girls in the neighborhood, but to me he was the sweetest soul and my best friend.

We did everything that could be done in our small town, but my favorite was always sitting next to him in silence, enjoying our Starbucks' drinks.

One of my favorite quotes has always been, "True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable." Richard was the truest friend I ever had.

Of course Richard knew of my feelings for him. He never grabbed my hand or held me close, but I knew he felt the same way. Still, we were just friends.

So I went on a first date where we ran into Richard after dinner. That first date turned into four years with someone other than Richard. Richard found a girl of his own, moved out of the state and got engaged.

With internet and phone we never lost touch. We looked for excuses to talk, even if it meant dating advice for me after I ended my long-term relationship. We kept the conversations appropriate, although we could never completely hide our feelings for each other.

And then one day Richard ends things with his fiance, tells me he has always loved me and isn't going to lose me again. He says he'd be settling to be with anyone other than me. He shows me how he's saved all the little things I made him when we were younger. He overwhelms me with his enduring love.

In the back of my mind I always believed I would end up with Richard. He was the standard I compared every guy to. Being with him was exciting and natural and free. But he was Richard and things that good just don't happen in real life.

And now this man, this everything I always wanted but could never have, was telling me I was the only one he wanted.

I couldn't believe it. Fear- fear of true love and fear of what I could lose- filled my mind. What would I have left if I lost him?

Still, weeks after his confession I make my way through the airport, finally catching those familiar, warm brown eyes. I drop my bags and he embraces me with trembling hands. We hold each other close like everything we could ever want or need in the world is in each other.

He leads me to his truck and makes sure I'm settled in the passenger seat. We make our way to his house on a hill, mostly sitting in silence with smiles big enough to make our cheeks hurt. At this point words just won't do.

He shows me around his country life- the cool air, the mountains, his two black dogs. We regularly pause to gaze into each others eyes and smile.

We've talked about our first kiss for weeks, but with the way I tremble with just a hug, I'm not sure I can handle his kiss.

After a few hours of hand holding and Eskimo kisses, his lips press against mine. Seven years of passion built up, everything became right in the world with each love-filled, natural kiss.

Now I sit in his living room, with his dogs at my feet, typing the love story of all love stories. I search for words to capture this feeling of completeness, of true love found. Instead I am leaving these incomplete and imperfect words to serve as a glimpse to what we share. After all, I have a love story to get back to.

Prom 5/2006:

Asheville 11/2010:

Ooops! How did that get in there?!

Do you have a love story? Did a new relationship affect your diet/fitness habits?

Movement

In most areas of my life I'm pretty open on the blog. I cry during some workouts, I poop a lot before big races and I tell you all when I quit my big-girl job and break up with my boyfriend of four years.

But in the past three months I've been quiet about the single version of healthy ashley. I haven't shown you the boys behind the dinners... and I haven't contributed my opinion to a hot Twitter conversation I began last week. But now, for the sake of being real and open and honest, I'm sharing a part of me I've kept hidden.

In the middle of a 15-mi. run I tweeted:

OPINION: If you're highly physically active, would you date/be with someone who isn't active at all but is everything else you want? Why?

The responses were all over the place and made me challenge my own thought process on the issue.

@RunRettaRun yes! my hubby is active @ his job but beyond that, not @ all. he also smokes. ...keeps it interesting :o)

@torontogirlwest I would! As long as that person was willing to try things with me once in a while....

@SurvivorRunner Um I already am;-) Despite his lack of athlete-ness he highly respects mine, + he is the love of my life.

@dorrybird we've bonded in the midst of awesome physical challenges - rock climbing, cliff jumping, biking, hiking...

@bricklyr: @healthyashley You described my marriage! I'd rather be with a great guy who needs some motivation than a fit jackass.

@RunSleepRinseRp ...a significant lifestyle diff. Hubs is active & it def helps me keep it up when my motivation is down!

@Merrberruns I wouldnt... I did once and our relationship suffered. hardcore.

@jessicabalances yes..i don't think it's a good idea for couples to do every single thing together-exercise time = u time!

@EuniceFood4Fit if they're supportive, maybe..being active is a big part of my life, i'd want some1 i can share that w/

@leannahamill I couldn't do it (I've tried.) Nothing worse than "I don't want to go [insert outdoor activity here]".

@superrsana yes! The make AWESOME pillows when you are sore and tired ;)

@MirandasJeans you could motivate them to make a change. I wasn't active until 2 years ago & my hubby always has been.

@dorrybird don't think I could! I love to spend my time being active and I think the relationship could potentially suffer

@CarrotsNCake My husband and I talk about this all of the time. I probably wouldn't.

@steff_says yes! i don't require that a partner love all of the things i love. ....more than shared interests.

@EvanFMFF Yes because there's more to a person than any one thing.

I surely had my opinions, but I didn't post my own thoughts on the subject. You see, I was dating someone who didn't exercise (and didn't want to). I posted this question in hope that your answers would somehow give me the magical answer.

Could I, healthy ashley... who lives and breathes fitness... stay with someone who didn't share or quite understand that passion? Could I really stop seeing a great guy because of exercise?

Well, yes. And I soon after did. Sure, there was more to the situation, but this difference was the catalyst.

Lance* was harder to end than all the others. He was hysterical, passionate and one heck of a kisser. We had an absolute blast together. And he left a vegan cupcake on my doorstep for an "after-run treat." Seriously, who says goodbye to a cupcake fairiy?!

But he wasn't physically active.

To most people this wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary; but for someone who's ideal day consists of five hours of strenuous activity, this is significant.

Initially I tried to justify the difference. At least he supports me in what I do. Maybe one day we'll go for a bike ride together. It's just exercise.

But then I realized no- it isn't just exercise to me. I live to feel my lungs expand during a run… to feel my fingertips push through the water in the pool… to explore, feel, breathe and take it all in. It's my own approach to life.

Lance didn't understand that. Most people don't understand that. And that's okay. But, in a relationship, I need more.

I committed to not settling in a relationship and so far have held true to that. In all my dating ventures I have been blown away by how many things are important to me and nonexistent in these potential partners.

Now we can add physically active to the list. And so I move on.

So, chime in: If you're highly physically active, would you date/be with someone who isn't active at all but is everything else you want? Why?

*names have been changed

Story: My Mystery Loss

So, can I tell you guys a story?

Normally I wouldn't share something like this on healthy ashley, but this situation has become a big part of me whether I like it or not- and since we're all about blogging love here I thought I'd share this (and get it off my chest since it's got me down again tonight).

Ben, Josh and Me

The Beginning

Five years ago I was interested in this boy named Ben. Ben and I eventually "dated", but it was his best friend Josh who I developed a real bond with. At first I was more scared of Josh than I wanted to be his friend. He was 5 years older than me and a little rough.

Nonetheless, Josh and I became best friends long after Ben and I faded. Complete opposites, we just understood and accepted each other. I loved Josh and he loved me. I remember one night several years back when he got into some big trouble. I was his first call. He cried and told me how I was his only true friend who has always stuck by him through thick and thin and he loved me for it.

Forever Friends

Josh spent a year living a few hours away from me, but we would always keep in touch. You know those friendships where you can pick up the phone or meet for coffee and forget that you haven't spoken in a few months? This was it.

Well about a year ago Josh began dating Katie. Katie and I have been friends for more than 8 years. We're not best friends, but we definitely picked up our friendship and became closer once Josh and Katie started dating. I was so happy for both of them.

An Opportunity to Help

Josh wanted to get more serious about his life and plans on taking over his father's landscaping business. Since I'm in PR I volunteer to create and execute a whole marketing plan for the company to get it off the ground (for free). He sets a large budget, I only spend half and I approved all costs with him first. I worked my butt off for two full weeks doing research, hosting meetings, designing a website and logo, designing and printing 1,000 fliers, etc.

So Josh and Katie find out their pregnant (not good news based on many factors). I am the first person Josh calls. I promise to support them 100%. Over the next few weeks I spend time with both of them (together and separate) hanging out and talking about their plans. Next thing I know I'm planning her baby shower (and purchased everything for it).

They decide to get married. Josh wants me as his "best man."

Fast Crash

On the Sunday we had planned to meet for me to transfer the fliers to Josh, he doesn't answer his phone. That's weird. So I try Katie and she doesn't answer either. Other than a few accidental answers, they never spoke to me again from that day. (After that I did try email and facebook to contac them, too.) That is when my two biggest friendships ended.

Making Sense of It

I first thought it could have to do with the money. But I stayed under-budget, used my own money and assured him he could pay me much later, whenever he had things in order.

So I have no idea what happened. I have a website, press release, marketing plan and 1,000 fliers sitting unused and I've lost people very close to my heart.

Trying to Move On

This was about 7 months ago. I've graduated and moved into my own apartment and they weren't here to celebrate with me. They've since married (I obviously wasn't invited) and are expecting a baby (the first "oops" pregnancy miscarried).

This wasn't just two casual friends I can easily write off. Josh was my best friend who has always been there for me. For them to suddenly ignore me altogether with no explanation is beyond me.

Anytime I think of the situation I get so down. It hurts. And without any explanation to provide closure, I can't let the hurt go away.

So that's my story for the night :) As much as I hate it, this situation has become a part of me.

_________________

ps- On the sidebar I'm going to track my exercises as my 2nd half marathon quickly approaches!