Racing Myself

I feel somewhat silly being all sentimental about “lessons” in a short 5K, but that’s just how it goes!

To give you a little background, I hate running. For me, running is just too hard. I can never breathe and my muscles continually feel like they’re going to lock up and die. The worst part is when I stop running for a week my lungs and legs somehow ‘forget’ how to run.

I hate running so much that I’ve become obsessed with it. It’s a bitter competition I have with myself. Nothing else counts when I run; it’s me, the pavement and the always-there option to quit. Running is a tough path where the truth seems to always come out. “I can’t do this,” I tell myself.

Time is against me. My lungs are against me. My physical condition is against me. The question is if I will choose to push through and run anyway- if I will run in spite of everything against me and succeed.

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7:08p.m. Friday night I’m fighting to keep pace with a pack somewhere in the middle of 1,200 runners flooding the streets of historic Ybor city. I’m 1-mile into a 3.2 mile race. My boyfriend and friend are far ahead of me by now and I’m just the girl jogging with her inhaler. Thoughts began to fill my head: you didn’t train enough; you are too far above your normal weight; if you’re struggling with this, how are you going to do a 10K later this month?

I manage a comfortable pace. I’m over 2-miles in now. In the midst of telling myself I can’t do it I take stock of the situation. My breathing has steadied. The pain in my legs has gone away. The cramp in my side isn’t so bad. I realize that at this point the only thing keeping me from dashing to the finish line is myself.

At mile 3 I do quick math and realize that at this rate, despite my struggling, I’m not going to beat my previous 5K time. My jog slows and my head falls down. Then I hear David’s voice as he’s jogging up next to me. He had already completed the race and came back to push me the last bit.

I run through the finish-line and smack into his sweaty arms. I beat my PR by almost three minutes. Even though I believed deep down that I am not a runner and I could not run faster, I beat my time. I love running.

I promise

...to be a more consistent blogger.

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It seems I either have plenty of time and nothing to say or no time at all and tons to talk about!!! (We're in the no time phase right now!)

I finally joined a new gym in my area. I left the YMCA last month when I moved into my apartment. I've really been missing my strength training and group fitness classes.

I thought I was a YMCA fan, but now I'm ashamed to say I've been anywhere other than Lifestyles!

-classes up the ying yang
-cardio.. gosh, 3x the amount of the Y
-Strength!! Three sections! The two sections with machines include 4
different brands. You use your favorite!
-Flat screen TVs with full cable in front of cardio machines (I go just to catch the cable!)
-TVs EVERYWHERE!
-Awesome friendly personal trainers- just about all of them have at
least a BA in fitness
-Personal dressing rooms
-SAUNAS in the mens and women's bathrooms!!!!
-3 free personal training sessions
-(This is awesome!!)*** This little booth (there are a few of them in
the facility) that takes your weight, body fat percentage and other
stats and keeps track of the numbers (you swipe your card so it knows
who you are). You can them log online and view all of your progress! Here you can also set goals and sign up for classes.
-Complete unlimited access to ANY other Lifestyles.

Tomorrow I am going to a 6 a.m. spinning class because 1. if I don't start classes now, I'll put it off forever and 2. that's the only time I can do it! 6 a.m. is really early, but I can do it!

I park in a parking garage and work out next to Brooks Brothers, Ann Taylor and Anthropologie. Seriously, could this get any better?! I am loving living in South Tampa!

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Motivation/Intimidation:

South Tampa is this really cool, trendy area right next to the city. Most of the people in this area are wealthy. Yesterday I parked between a Bentley and a Porsche when running into Publix. Also, these people are gorgeous. They go grocery shopping in outfits straight from Glamour. Just about everyone is a size 4. I swear. I know these people work for their shape because the streets are constantly flooded with runners and the gyms are plentiful. To give you an even better idea of what I'm talking about, the Tampa Bay Bucs Cheerleaders rehearse at my new gym.

While having people at their very best all around me all the time is often quite encouraging (go for that extra 10 minutes on the stair climber!), it is also quite intimidating. Usually I'm all about the "I think it's cool if I don't look just like everyone else" attitude... but sometimes I want to be an insecure girl. But really, what better motivation is there than standing next to women with these bodies on the gym room floor?

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I'm not completely "back" yet. I weigh 5 pounds more than I am comfortable with and 13 pounds more than my goal. Too much jiggle in my wiggle.

But I am back in the exercise swing- I love this. Exercise is such a stress-reliever and mood-booster... and I'm addicted! (Cheesy, I know!) The eating is beyond bad. My increase in exercise has shot my appetite up. There was a binge. I have made very unhealthy choices. Bad, bad, bad.

But tomorrow (seriously- in 2 hours), I am starting new. David is going to hold me accountable and I'm doing 9 days of clean food. Tomorrow I might be grouchy because of this, but I will feel so much better in a few days. I'll report back!!