New Jersey Marathon Race Report

..or at least half of it.

So much had gone on the two days leading up to the marathon (this, traveling to NJ and working the expo), that waking up in a hotel Sunday morning for 26.2 miles felt weird.   Breakfast was basically oats with water (no microwave- gross!), a banana and a fruit strip.

I loved New Jersey and the small-town feel, but I did not like all the traffic! Traffic was especially cramped race morning, but I finally parked, took a shuttle and walked to race start with a few minutes to spare.

The start was so full and unorganized! Most runners weren’t even sure which direction the race started. I couldn’t even fit into the corral until a ton of people made their way past the starting line.

The race started right by the shore… what a gorgeous setting! Today was supposed to be #5 of my 6 marathons in 8 months goal. The race did set a record for me, but certainly not a good one. This was the first race I actually dropped out of. I completed the half marathon portion and bailed on the second loop.

I know you're all thinking that a half marathon is still a great accomplishment… and it is. But it is completely different when you complete 13.1 because you quit a marathon. It's a whole different animal.

New Jersey had record high temperatures for this time of the year (it was in the 90’s). The pollen count was several times what is normal. And, the race started at 9:00 a.m. when the sun was already in full force. All completely unplanned.

From the first mile I had trouble breathing. I deal with exercise-induced asthma and used to run with an inhaler. With lots of training and breathing techniques my breathing evened and I haven't had any trouble since.

Today was a different story. It literally felt like my lungs decreased in mass to the size of a quarter. It felt I would cease breathing if I didn't stop immediately and self-coach relaxed breathing. I couldn't believe I was dealing with this at mile 1 of 26. I expect a marathon to present some challenges, but not at the very start!

I ran what I could, which wasn't much. It's a terrible feeling to stop running when I feel like I can't get in any air at all.

I love how small town New Jersey felt. The streets were lined with supporters sitting outside of their homes and handing out their own food to the runners or spraying us with their hose (my favorite!). Even though I couldn’t breathe, the scenery was breathtaking. It wasn’t a bad course to take my time on!

Check out this one guy cooling off the runners with his hose ;) Too funny!

I was so happy when Stephanie, a blog reader, randomly found me in the crowd and agreed to run with me for a few miles. I met Stephanie the day before at the expo. She was running her first marathon (!!!) and was having trouble dealing with the humidity, too. Talking with Stephanie made miles 3-9 (?) fly by, but I had to let her go when my lungs got bad enough that I couldn't push through.

While talking to Stephanie about how difficult this was for my body I said something that really stuck out. I said that having a blog brought on a ton of accountability and that if I didn't have a blog I could step down from the half and move on.

Woah! I have nothing to prove to anyone! I later realized that sacrificing my health or happiness to look good for my readers was senseless and counterproductive.

Around mile 10 I started to see runners completely passed out on the side of the road with emergency care attending to them. Watching fellow runners be rushed away in medical carts was scary.

I started to think of how I might hurt myself if I pushed myself through the whole race. I knew I wasn't going to make my time goal, and there was no reason I had to do the whole thing (other than pride and post-race satisfaction). I remembered Grandma's Marathon I'm signed up for in June. Maybe bailing on this race could be an investment to a successful marathon later.

My breathing wasn't getting any better and I had to walk way more than I ran so I decided to go through the finish line at 13.1 instead of doing the second loop and quitting the marathon.

Marathoners had blue bibs and half marathoners had green bibs. The event staff tried to point me to the second loop lane when I ran toward the finish line with all the green bibs. I signaled that I understood and needed to go in that direction and she said, "oh, you're bailing."

I know it was a quick response that didn't hold much weight to her, but her words made me feel shamed. I ran about .2 miles with the green bibs and I hated thinking what people might think of me. Normally I feel strong and confident finishing a race, but today I felt like a coward who was loudly exposed by the color of her bib.

I wanted to cry after I crossed the finish line. I wanted to finish that marathon but I didn't. I quit and felt terrible about it.

My thoughts:

PRIDE: I talked to a half marathon guy at the expo who said marathoners were all stubborn people who wanted to prove something by putting themselves through pain. Sure, that's not totally true, but he did have a point. I didn't want to put myself in a bad place for the sake of pride. That wouldn't be balanced.

CONVENIENCE: The marathon was two loops of the half marathon course. From the start I saw where I'd be doing my second loop as the half marathoners finished. I knew there was an easy way out without having to take the ride of shame in an event golf cart.

I believe if I didn't have that convenient option of finishing with the half marathoners I would have pushed through (not necessarily running... because of the asthma).

TRAINING: I ran the Crooms 50k exactly one month ago, but I haven't had a successful long run since. Sure, traveling and an agitated Achilles were in part to blame, but I know I didn't make the runs a big enough priority. I started to take my running for granted.

I didn't pay attention to my diet leading up to the race (mum, 3 Larabars and 2 Odwalla bars during the first day of the expo Friday?!). And I haven't had a session with my foam roller in weeks.

Sure, I was thankful I was done and didn't hurt myself. But I had a goal and I quit halfway through. I did choose the easy way out. But I did it for my overall good.

There will be other marathons (like Grandma's Marathon next month!). I will PR and run through plenty of finish lines.

After the race I had to drive straight to the airport. I was a little early so I treated myself to a spa pedicure. Yes, it made everything better :)

Do you ever push yourself too hard to make others happy? If you have a blog, do you think that accountability influences your decisions?