Fighting Failure

In this post, I have nothing special to write. Stop here if you want fun photos or an inspriational message... all you're going to get is a defeated runner who just wants to cry. I think a special time-of-month is coming soon which would explain my hyper-emotional state, but I'm allowing myself feel it anyway.

The History
You see last September I promised myself I would push my love of running to a 5K and then a 10K the next month... and then a half marathon. I've had to overcome many obstacles with it (mental barriers, weak knees, asthma), but my love for running grows.

I completed my 5K with a new PR. I was under trained and nervous for my 10K, but I did it (along with my supportive boyfriend by my side). Now I face the half marathon, 13.1 miles, this Sunday.

Ready for 13.1?
I've admitted it to few, but I seriously considered giving up on the biggest goal, my half. With graduation and the holidays I had no time to train and I was set that non-runner me couldn't take on a half in 3 weeks.

...but one tough the-more-I-want-to-give-up-the-harder-I-have-to-try-because-I'm-no-quitter session with the treadmill turned that around for me. I ran a solid 8 miles when I couldn't knock out 5 not too long before that. After that I knew I could do this.

Fast Forward to Tonight
Tonight was my big 10-miler. I've been planning for this for weeks. Not only was it to be my first double-digit run, but it was my last big training run before the race.

I spent the week pumping myself up for this. I was finally ready.

Armed with multiple water bottles, Clif shot blocks, iPod and towel, I tackled the treadmill. Then I had to stop at mile 4. My stomach has been acting up (let's just say my butt is a runny faucet- no leakage, though! eww! Did I really put that on my blog!?!), but as I was running it got much worse.

I tried to push through the gurgling and cramping that was taking over my abdomen and instead focused on pushing through to meet my time. At mile 5 I couldn't take it and visited the restroom again.

Well, I couldn't stay out of the restroom and had no choice but to quit my run.

I was so built up about this run, but instead I walked away feeling defeated. This wasn't just any run. This was my big goal, this was the run that would yell to me, "Ashley! You've done it!" I've put all my effort and strength into overcoming my lack of training that to have a stupid stomach bug overcome me really stinks.