I shouldn't be writing this. I am frustrated and severely lacking motivation. But I work hard to make this blog real- all of my ups and downs in striving to be "healthy ashley." So I write tonight to represent women who are frustrated when their hard work just doesn't pay off.
Tonight I used the LifeCenter at my gym (a small booth that measures and tracks weight, cholesterol, heart rate, body fat, etc.) before my appointment with my personal trainer. End result: the numbers are the same as two months ago. All the numbers are the same. Even body fat- so it's not like I've just "gained muscle."
I feel great. I'm happy and strong and feel tight all over (woohoo!). But I am over the weight I should be. I don't fit into my normal jeans-- and I really don't fit into my skinny jeans.So I get new workouts from a personal trainer every week, exercise as much as I can, limit my calories and eat mostly whole foods. Yet I maintain. It pisses me off.
Really I know I need to hit the calorie range 1400-1500 each day and I will lose, but right now I'm really upset that the things I'm doing already should be working... yet nothing changes at all.
So tonight I cut my workout short, ate a bowl of cereal and am going to bed without cleaning the house.
So when you're fed up and need to quit for the day, it's okay. You're not alone. Tomorrow I will think of my half marathon in January, how strong I am from my new workouts and the nutrients I consciously put into my body each day. But tonight I am pissed that every stupid number stayed the same. And my jeans still won't fit.
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