What We Are

Today I read a brief story on That's Fit about E! Correspondent Giuliana Rancic. She said: “I hate it when celebrities say they never exercise but are really in the gym five days a week. So I’ll be honest: I run an hour a day, weight-train four times a week, and watch what I eat.”

This hit me straight in the forehead!

For years I have maintained the same weight. Same height, same size. It's comfortable. I am healthy, maybe average. But, I have always wanted to be a bit smaller. When I was coming out of the eating disorder period, I hit the mid 130's and loved it there. I've gone back once for a brief stop, but I bounced right back to my normal. Not that I am unhappy where I am now, but I really felt and looked my best at that weight.

For years I've wanted to be this weight/size. Eight months ago I started this blog to get to that size. But I still am not.

Is it because I can't do it? Have those family dinners really been too much to handle? Was the brownie shoved down my throat? And was it impossible to exercise once that weekend? No. But here is a sample of some of my thoughts.

"I'm just not built that way."

"She was just born skinny like that."

"I can't help that I'm bigger."

"I could run like that if ______"

'I have too much going on to make good choices."

"___________________."

I share these because I'm sure they float around your head, too- but this needs to stop today. It's not about a numbers or family history or what's happened in the past. We have to take responsibility and pride in who we are. I am 10 pounds above my goal weight because I put myself there, because of my choices. I am healthy because I make an effort to nourish my body on a day-to-day basis. At the end of the day, we all have 24-hours and a crap load of stresses... The actresses, the marathoners, the mothers of 5.

I've been the 130's, healthy, energetic Ashley who doesn't have cankles and feels great wearing dresses. I have been there before- so I know it is possible for me to be there again. Binging on all the bad foods in the house last night because that's what I always do when they are there? That was my choice.

How about today we don't look at fit, healthy people and brush it off that they were made that way, or they are just naturally skinny. I'm sure most of them are not. They hit the gym hard and they make health a priority. So let us do it, too. With each choice we create who we are. Let's make responsible, honest choices today. It's for us!